Foster care is not for the faint of heart. Nothing could have prepared us for those first few weeks of caring for kids who did not know us and we knew nothing about. The training is constant. The alligations from bio parents feel very personal and outrageous. The caseworker was not exactly on our team and throwing us under the bus was not off limits. The visits are overwhelming. The meetings are weekly. The incident reports are worrisome as we were constantly under a microscope. Timelines are non-existent and our life was turned upside down. But for how long? No one knows. Could be tomorrow, could be next year. Will we be able to adopt? Can I make it to the end?
Our two foster kids... Their story unraveled throughout the year we had them. I learned that they endured so much neglect and uncertainty. I imagine that I don’t even know the half of it. I wonder what my foster kids experienced day to day in their home. I wonder who was with them and what abuse they couldn't describe. I wonder how they survived the exposure to substances. I'm glad I don't know. It would be too much to bare.
My foster son melted my heart over and over again. He adores his Mom more than I imagine anyone adores another person this side of heaven, but for a bit I had his attention. He experienced fishing, bowling, camping, a theme park, a zoo, baseball, church, sledding, swimming, drives, hiking, site seeing, a pumpkin patch, VBS... many of those being his first. He witnessed baptisms and learned to pray. He had routine and consistency that he absolutely craved. He called me Mom and gave me hugs and compliments. Before he left, he told me that this was the best year he has had in a long time. We had our challenges with him, but what a sweet boy we were blessed to know.
My foster daughter was sassy. I am not used to girls and all the attitude that comes with them! But I grew to love her and I'll never stop loving her. I had a daughter for a year. I enjoyed all the bows and hairdos I tried on her. I enjoyed dressing her and listening to her sing her little songs. It took months to get her to stay in bed and weeks to get her to eat by herself in her booster seat. But by the time she left to go home, she slept all night, napped two hours a day, ate all her food, and said please and thank you. She ran to me for hugs and called me Mommy. That little girl fit into our family. Saying Bye to her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
God is so faithful. Our 2 foster kiddos were able to go home on December 9th, 2021. We knew in July that this was not going to end in adoption and they were only going to be in our lives for a season. This was the perfect outcome, the perfect ending. I am even able to keep in touch with their Mom and find out how they are doing from time to time. What a blessing!
Will we foster again?!
We had such beautiful moments as a family with these two kids and we wouldn’t change a thing. While we enjoyed pouring into these kids, there were times I really missed our family of 6 and felt like the time with my boys was running out. Just being real. I had no control over anything and had moments of feeling absolutely trapped. We spent months gaining our foster daughter’s trust and trying to form attachment only to send her off to people she barely knew anymore. (Our foster son was ready to go home on day 1, so it was very exciting for him) But the worst feeling for me has been the empty spot that it left behind. I have had dreams, good and bad, about them that feel so real that I question reality. The excitement of them being able to return home was amazing, but the reality of it really happening has been consuming and even a little traumatic. I know time will heal. And I know God used this to grow us all to look more like Him.
It was a beautiful, terrible experience. Lol. That’s the best way I know to describe it!
So, will we do it again? Only God knows, but we are thankful that God chose us to be in these two kiddos lives for a season and we pray they never forget what they felt and learned here. They are forever a part of the Pyle family.
Onto the next chapter of our lives! Lord lead us.
