It has been over 8 months sense our foster kids left our care. I haven’t heard from their Mom in 7 months and I don’t expect to. Her promises of keeping in touch were only to appease us for a time, apparently. This is the part no one ever tells you about… the part where you feel like one of your kid’s died and you will never know if they are safe and loved. The part where you dream about them. They disappear from your life in an instant, only to leave a hole in your heart. It sounds dramatic because it is.
Our foster daughter captured the hearts of my husband, our 4 boys, my parents, and myself. She was a part of us and I think she always will be. We walked her through so much. We walked her through the first time she left her mom and cried herself to sleep in her car seat. We walked her through 3 days of holding her bowels and finally unleashing on our living room floor. We walked her though sleepless nights and waking up every hour. We walked her through not wanting to eat and spoon feeding her in our laps the few things she would eat at first. We walked her through not going up to strangers and thinking she needed to go home with them, because she had no attachment. We walked her through holidays and firsts. We walked her through doctor and dentist appointments. We walked her through covid… through RSV and having to decide at the ER whether to admit her to the hospital or to take her home while monitoring her vital signs. We walked her through her first day at preschool and first time at church. We walked her through fits of blood curdling screaming. We walked her through visits and confusion. We walked her through the last day we had her… she knew she was leaving and that girl would not smile. She screamed and kicked as I handed her off to her mom… her bio mom anyway.
These are the things you can’t be taught and can’t prepare for. The trauma of them leaving stays with you. I know she was with us for a reason and I pray for that girl often, but it is something I fear I will always grieve. It’s the not knowing that gets ya.
It’s one of those life altering things. And there are people out there that have done this a crazy amount of times, who sacrifice their time, sanity, and home endlessly for the sake of being Christ to a lonely child… for the sake of their calling. They amaze me. Pray for them. Give them a hug and tell them you remember what they did and are doing… it doesn’t end when the child leaves. Pray for foster care. Pray for this broken system. Pray for foster kids and their bio parents. They need our prayers, love, and support daily. Foster care is an example of being the hands and feet of Jesus. Foster parents are generally unseen. See them.
“If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.”
1 Corinthians 12:26 NLT
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