Now it springs up;
do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the
wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19
This is a loooong story, but one worth telling. It’s a story of God’s love, provision,
faithfulness, and peace. It also is a story of how intricately God weaves
together the lives of others with our own and how He
gives us the desires of our heart, but only when He sees fit. He is always
working for our good.
Where to begin? I guess I’ll start
with how I’ve felt. I have felt a stirring to move for years. I am not from Indiana originally, so it was easy to imagine our family
somewhere else. But no matter my desire, God had us in Indiana for a time. Our
family was mostly here, and it has been a great place to raise our babies, but
I have always struggled to find my place here. My husband, living in a small town in Indiana his whole life, had no desire
to leave, and frankly wouldn’t seriously entertain the idea of leaving for most
of our marriage. Then about 2 to 3 years
ago, God started to prepare his heart for whatever and wherever the Lord would
lead. One day, out of nowhere, My husband said that He would definitely leave Indiana if that’s what God
had for us. But I knew God would have to move in a
major way if He wanted us to actually leave. Our home is comfortable and beautiful, we
have monthly date nights, plenty of family babysitters, an awesome school to
send our kids to, the ability to walk or bike with safety, stores only minutes
away, a park within walking distance, and the list goes on. As much as I have felt the tug to leave, there was no denying the comfort and love we felt here.
So our journey began to unfold,
layer by layer.
Late in 2016, my husband and his buddy
went on a road trip to Tennessee. On the trip, he met amazing men of God,
some of which were Christian songwriters. One of
these men prayed over my husband, roaring like a lion. He said the first time he
roared, it scared him. The second time, it made him chuckle. The third time, it
made him cry. Whatever was happening was powerful. Shortly
after he got home, I told him that I felt like someone was going to contact him
from Tennessee. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was hoping it would be a
relocation opportunity. Hmmm.
2017 was a year of change … my husband and I felt it in our bones.
My brother announced that he had a job opportunity in Colorado and he was moving his family. Sad day. While eating lunch with them at Scotty’s Brewhouse, the Lord
brought to my husband’s mind Isaiah 43:16. At the time, he thought it was for my
brother, but now we know it was also for us. It has, many times, brought us
comfort and peace during these last few months.
My dear friend, Bud, died in August
2017. He was a sassy old guy who loved Jesus and missed his wife. We started
smack talking over Words with Friends when Malachi was a newborn baby in my
arms. For 5 years he was my supporter, my cheerleader, my mentor, and my
dearest friend. I would always have him read my blog posts before I posted them
and valued his opinion very much. So of course, I can’t help but think of him
as I write this. I could joke with him and he would dish it right back. He always told me how beautiful
I was and how much he loved my humor. I’ll miss him always. But him passing
away was a HUGE closed door for me in Indiana.
2017 also brought cancer for a
family member, death of yet another dear friend, the death of a grandparent, and
many ups and downs for our family, both emotionally and spiritually. It was a
hard year, but a necessary one for our growth. God doesn’t cause death and
calamity, but He is always faithful to use it for our good. More closed doors.
2018 has been interesting,
too. My Dad retired from pastoring full-time
for over 45 years. My Mom also retired from her job, leaving them both free to
travel and get some much needed relaxation! Yay them!! They spent
the summer months in Colorado visiting my brother’s family and enjoying retired
life. So after basically 30 some years of always going to my parent’s church, I
was now on my own. Honestly, it felt good and scary at the same time. Being in
search of a church was uncharted territory.
More endings … I helped with a
girl’s high school small group for over three years - that was over. I attended
MUMs (Moms Uplifting Moms) for a few years - it felt over, after all my baby
was going to kindergarten. My babysitting commitments - over. Carpool commitments - over. I felt very
empty, like life here was moving on without me.
Okay, enough of the closed doors,
I’m getting depressed … let’s talk about the open ones!!
For Spring Break this year, we
decided to visit my brother and his family in Colorado.
My husband had always wanted to go west for
vacation and it seemed like the perfect opportunity! So, we packed up and made
our way out there. We eventually got there, after what seemed like an eternity.
Haha. That is a long trek with 4 boys, with very little to look at until you
get to Denver. But once you hit the mountains, it is like being on another
planet. Snow-capped mountains, rocky cliffs, mountain goats, bald eagles, huge
wild turkeys in the trees … seriously beautiful. But let me be completely
honest for a second … it was really weird not being at the beach for vacation or
not being with any of our parents. I am very scared of heights. Add kids to
heights and I am petrified. I wasn’t sure about Colorado at first … I kept
saying to my husband, “I’m not a mountain girl, I’m a beach girl.”
But by the end of the week, I cried as the
mountains faded from our view. I had fallen in love with the place and so had my husband. And I’ll be even more honest, we both felt like it was going to be a
vision trip, that God would speak to us in some way about our future. But how?
Here’s how …
Before we left, my husband had been
listening to a Robby Dawkin’s sermon. In that sermon, Robby mentioned that his
grandpa had lived in Grand Junction, CO. On a whim, my husband Googled ‘Robby Dawkins
Grand Junction’ and found out that Robby had recently been to Canyonview Vineyard Church, just minutes from my Brother’s
house. That’s pretty cool, so we decided to go visit Canyonview. I really enjoyed
the service, but it wasn’t an “ah-ha” moment for me personally. I was just
concerned with how our boys were acting and anticipating our week of vacation. But
it was for my husband. He later told me what had gone on during that service, that I
hadn’t noticed …
We got all situated with our
entourage and shortly after we sat down, our youngest started whining about
having to go potty. Of course. (One of the nice things about being a boy Mom
and them getting older is, they can’t come with me into the ladies’ bathroom
anymore … Daddy gets bathroom duty. Score!!) So my husband walked him out, and as he
did, they started singing one of our favorite worship songs, “Reckless Love”. When
they started singing that song, the Holy Spirit hit him so hard that he
almost fell down! Which would have been
pretty embarrassing to make that kind of scene, only minutes after entering the
building. But he managed to keep walking and took Malachi out to do his
business. Then the family Pastor told his testimony, which was SO good. I could
tell it was hitting my husband pretty hard. Then at the end of the service, the
Pastor called the prayer team up. He then went on to say that one of the
members of the prayer team had a word
for someone in the service, which we found out later they don’t usually mention.
But this lady felt so strongly to tell the people in that second service this
one word. And the word was ‘Connect’. My husband knew right away, that word was for
us! I was oblivious at the time, but he had said quite a few times before
and on the way to Colorado, “If we are going to move anywhere, we need a
connection”. Wow. I see now that that word was most definitely for us. My husband told me this story later that week. I made him promise me that he would contact
that family pastor when we got home. He had to.
And he did.
He emailed him our story and the very next day, my husband received a call from him.
They ended up having a very encouraging conversation for an hour and a half!
The pastor also felt like God was obviously moving us, but since we didn’t know
where, he suggested writing down our top 10 connections. Well, Grand Junction
was #1, #2 was Tennessee, #3 ... Indiana? That was it. We didn’t have a whole
lot to work with, but my husband started with Tennessee.
He decided to text a friend who had
recently moved from Indiana to Tennessee to pursue songwriting. Within the week,
his friend called him back and told him he needed to apply for Kingdom Songs
One, which was basically this amazing opportunity to go to songwriting sessions
with a successful songwriter, in this case, Michael Farren (who has
written/co-written over 200 songs for people like Lauren Daigle and Michael W.
Smith!). My husband had applied for another songwriting workshop with them, just a
year before, but wasn’t accepted. This time, he had more songs written and had more
experience. But it was just days from starting, would cost a lot of money, he
would have to drive to Franklin, TN every other week for an hour session, and it
would last most of the summer. It seemed pretty unrealistic, but when a friend
of his offered to pay the cost, my husband had no choice … he needed to walk thru
this open door. Within 5 hours of applying online, he was accepted.
So, in May, we started traveling to
Franklin, TN every other week. We’d
leave around 6:30 that morning, make it to Franklin around 12:30pm there time,
we’d eat a quick lunch, I’d hang out at Starbucks, and he’d go to Michael
Farren’s studio for 1-1 ½ hours. Then we’d
eat supper somewhere and make it back around 1:30 AM the next morning. Looking back, it was such a fun and amazing
experience, even for me, just tagging along. We always had a willing babysitter
and it was really nice having that one-on-one time together. But what I thought
was amazing, didn’t even compare to what my husband was experiencing! Michael isn’t
only talented, but is also a super nice and relatable guy who taught and
pastored my husband during those sessions. I was always eager to hear their recordings
and what they talked about. One thing he told my husband, that really stuck out to
me the most, was something like, “You are by far the least qualified to be here
in terms of experience. But you absolutely belong here. You have good instincts. There may be moments
here where you feel small. But don’t. You belong here.” I can’t even begin to
write all the neat things he said to him, what all he learned, and how much the
encouragement and friendship has meant to my husband. But I can say, my husband was
exactly where he was supposed to be, doing exactly what God wanted him to do.
And this part of the story, the songwriting part, isn’t even close to over.
With all that being said, we were
now more confused than ever. We knew we were being moved, but we just didn’t
know where! For me, Colorado seemed like an impossible option … after all, it
was so far away. My husband didn’t have any job leads out there that made it the
obvious choice, and I was getting used to the idea of moving to Tennessee. Tennessee
just made the most sense. My husband could pursue songwriting and we’d only be 6 ½
hours from our small town in Indiana. We could easily be back in town every
couple months or so for a visit. We even
contacted a realtor and explored some apartments. But somewhere in there, my husband brought Colorado back up. He loved the area so much and couldn’t shake the feeling
of being drawn to it. So, he decided to shoot an email to the pastor he had
befriended and let him know what was going on with Tennessee and what we were battling.
Again, his reply was very encouraging! It was about possible ministry
opportunities at the church and around the community and also about the
opportunity to write songs with their worship leader. Vineyard churches write
their own music and this particular church was about to record their first
album! How cool is that?!? He also asked
if working remote at his current job was an option. Shortly after that
conversation, Tyler talked to his boss and he was so graciously willing to let
him work remote. That led to more open doors.
We had decided early on, that we’d
take the boys for a weekend in Tennessee and try the town on for size. So, we
did and it was a fun trip and gave us great clarity. But the outcome was very
surprising … It did not feel like home and by the end of the trip, we knew it was
a part of our journey, not our destination.
On our way home, right then and
there, we decided to walk by faith. No more hem hawing around, just take a risk
and jump full force into what God has for us ... we were moving and it was
Colorado. Let me tell ya, that decision was scary and we hoped we were hearing
God right. But our first confirmation was sitting at home. Our dear friend,
Wanda, had been watching our dog and feeding our porch cat while we were in Tennessee.
Little did we know that she had felt promped to give us a beautiful painting
that her late husband had painted, just at the very moment that we declared our
move to Colorado.
She didn’t know why, but
she faithfully listened. She sat it on our buffet table with a note attached to
it. We walked in late that night, completely exhausted from the trip. I saw it
first … then my husband walked in and I pointed straight at it.
There was a large, framed, original painting
of a lion in our dining room. It was almost as if God was speaking straight to
us saying, “Be brave and courageous, I’ve got this”. Wow. I’m not sure if
anyone can quite grasp how comforting that moment was, but seeing that painting
was something I hope I never forget. Like God had walked in our house and sat
it there Himself, to encourage and speak to us. And we couldn’t help but think
of that guy in Tennessee, who two years ago, had prophetically roared like a
lion over my husband.
Swiss Days … a time of eating deliciously greasy food, going on kiddy rides, listening to Polka music, and spending waaay too much money. It is also a time of seeing people you wouldn’t normally see. My husband’s Dad reintroduced him to a couple who pastored the church he attended when he was a kid. It was a neat reunion for them to talk about old times. They also mentioned that they were looking to move back to town, but hadn’t had much luck finding a house. The wife really wanted a big, white house (check), a wrap around front porch (check), and the husband wanted a big pine tree in the front yard to decorate for Christmas (check!). Our house had it all! So that afternoon, we showed them around our house. Two days later, they made an offer. It was honestly that easy and that perfect. We hadn't even put it on the market and were still weeks from doing so. I just remember being in the kitchen, after knowing they wanted to buy our house, just sobbing because of how much love I felt from our Heavenly Father. I couldn’t have thought up a better scenario. And without going into detail, the buyers were so gracious through the whole process and it was nothing less than a miracle. The realtor that worked for them was even inspired by the whole situation. God gave us enormous confirmation. Colorado it is and He was working it all out.
Would buying a house in Colorado
work out as smoothly?? Yep, pretty much!! My husband and I had looked at house after house
online and it felt like our heads were swimming. We’d spend our evenings
looking at houses and would be no closer to deciding on one. When we’d like a house,
we’d find out it was pending already. Ugh! It was seriously so frustrating. So,
we decided to act on a few available houses that fit our needs. My parents were
still in Colorado, visiting my brother, so we asked them to go check out a
couple houses for us. They scoped out the area and went to a few showings,
always asking the realtor questions and sending us videos of their tour. We had
narrowed it down, but it seemed impossible to know which house was the right
one. But then, on our last trip to Franklin, TN I was sitting in Starbucks at a
Target, and it hit me like a warm wave of rushing water. I felt a peace about
the very first house I found on Realtor.com. My parents had seen it and it was
seriously so perfect. I texted my husband right away that we had to move on that
house fast, because I knew it was the right one and houses in Colorado were
selling like hotcakes! Well, long story short, we got the house and we close on
it in a few short days!! Praise God!
Now, that wasn’t every detail, but
it was the bullet points. And I’m sure there are some details, that God worked
out, that we don’t even know about. There were people who had prophetically
given us words throughout the last
couple years that my husband and I wrote in our journals to look back on. Some we
don’t understand yet and some that pointed us straight to here. It’s been mind-blowing.
We’ve also had faithful friends and family who have prayed us through this
journey and given us the strength we needed to keep moving forward. I am so
thankful for those who walked thru this with us. We are also thankful for the
sacrifice of our families. This has not been an easy pill for them to swallow,
but I know they see God moving in all of this. My Mom just recently said, “I
don’t understand it, but I can’t argue with it. You are suppose to be there.”
Although, we aren’t exactly sure
why we are moving to Colorado except that God obviously wants us there, we are
eager to get out there and find out what it is. I believe God is going to
stretch me and mold me. The word ‘growth’ keeps coming to mind. And I know I
need growth. I believe God is going to use my husband and our four boys in a
ridiculously awesome way. If anyone would have told us that my husband would be
co-writing with Michael Farren and we’d be moving to Colorado by the end of the
summer, one year ago, I would have laughed in their face. It seems so
unbelievable, but that’s our God. So faithful to give us the unbelievable and
take us so much further than we could ever dream.
This has been our journey to
Colorado and I can’t wait to share more as our story unfolds. To God be the glory.
